For some reason unknown to me I did not go to work at the usual time. Instead, I stayed home a little later and decided to watch the news for a few more minutes. I was half-watching when I noticed that the local news had cut over to the National News coverage. I watched in horror as I witnessed the second plane crashing into the WTC. My first reaction was to call Liz. As I could not reach her at her apartment, I then called Peter to be sure that I could hear that both of them were okay. When I heard about the Pentagon and the other plane that crashed in Pennsylvania I thought that I was having a bad dream, it all seemed so surreal.
Peter called me back an reassured me that he and Liz were okay. I was so relieved that my prayers were answered. Selfishly, I then went on to work and the day seemed normal until I arrived home. It is funny how when your life seems okay and it is a far away happening how you can dismiss the horrificness of it all. That evening I sat in horror and was glued to the TV. For two consecutive days I did not sleep. All I could do was sit in disbelief and wonder what would happen now.
Yesterday, September 15th I think I was finally hit with the enormity of it all. Our world will never be the same. The enemy is elusive and I am afraid for the first time in my life. I have such heaviness in my heart for the loss of innocence. I fear that we will go to war with an enemy that we can't specifically identify. I fear that we will lose many more innocent people and will become a nation of non-trusting people.
I live in such a pristine place and know that God has blessed me immensely. I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful children, a sweet grandbaby, a great son-in-law and one who I consider a son-in-law and I do not want my world to change. Yet, I fear that it has already changed and there is no going back.
I prayed for our world leaders that they will make choices that we can support and that we do not become a people with hate and mistrust in our hearts. I prayed for the rescue workers that they would have strength and courage. I prayed for those families that have lost loved ones and the little children whose world has changed so much. My emotions are running high right now and I have this feeling of doom.
Denver has united. There are American flags everywhere. People are banding together in a way that makes me proud. On Friday, the 14th everyone wore red, white and blue. Everywhere I went it was the same. Patriotism is running high.
But I am still afraid and sad.